Little white lies..

After much deliberation i have figured out that drunk people lie to us to their parents, to their friends and even to themselves and this in action is quite hilarious. Also another fact that i was enlightened upon is that intelligent people are more likely to binge drink and get drunk faster, so cheers to einstein...
I have resolved that even though drinking may have a lot of consequences, we make up many many lies to convince ourselves that it is in fact a normal convention and allows us to escape, socialise and for  just have fun- and a good dose of fun never hurt anyone ? has it? ;)

Drunken jokes :D

I find it interesting how alcohol can bring out our most carnal desires.. Found this one on the net..

Drunken Man

A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".

What Men Mean

Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass

I'm a Romantic = I'm poor

I need you" = My hand is tired

I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised

I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me

I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it

It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head

he's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue

I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me

I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good

Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small

I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you

o you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out

Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later

How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now

I have something to tell you = Get tested

I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again

I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk

I think we should just be friends = You're ugly

I've learned a lot from you = Next

Stand up

After wrestling with words for hours into the night i finally realised that the inspiration had to come from my own personal stories and typical behaviour of a drunk person.. the one thing they all have in common is that they lie through their gin soaked teeth.  so that is the subject matter that i've finally decided to adopt for my stand up comedy script... Although its better to be sober, we erin anyway and thats what makes us human, our flaws...

My grandma

I've always imagined my gran as an old dignified lady who is the epitomy of mother Teresa and Jamie oliver combined. however recent developments have allowed me to view the inner child, the rebel and the spirited Anne Pottier. Recent news: Back in the day little Anne and her teeny bopper friends would collect rotten tomatos from markets and households as amo. when 5 o clock came around they would enter sniper mode and keep to the shadows of the bushes and when an unsuspecting unknown drunken stranger came meandering along, they would take aim and fire!! What a rebel! Not to mention her technique of story telling which was so animated and had us all in stitches... Who knew i'd be taking notes from my gran!?

Week 2: The weekend before the performance

Upon testing out the funny drunken stories on my grandparents and mother, I realized that I did not quite receive the funny gene. in fact it skipped my generation as both my mother and gran are hilarious. My children(if i ever decide to have them) will probably be funnier than Chris rock. My mother in the way that she has these weird quirks and imitations that are absolutely hilarious. Her infamous Afrikaner accent really sends people off their rocker. She teaches at the school i used to attend and her audience are formed by the students at the all girls catholic school. in my opinion, they need a bit of culture and the combination of a quirky teacher with a short attention span is just what they need.

Copywriting

This blog is to record the process and shenanigans that goes down in my copy class. Its easy to say that this term has started off with a loud and rather funny bang. Stand up comedy is our first brief and i can tell you one thing, its definitely not as easy as it looks. I've come to realize that although funny things happen all around me in life, it is a little bit harder to be funny on demand and even more so to entertain  my peers and cater to their different tastes.  Last week we worked on techniques and ideas for our content after which we developed prototype jokes to test out on our friends.  my joke telling skills suck! But hopefully i will get better and be hilarious by the end of the week. I think that students will be able to relate to topics such as bathroom humor and hilarious things that drunk people do at parties.